Funny Server Quotes

Of course, once again, I am doing this.

Post the funniest or interesting OOC/IC stuff that you find on the server here.

Just going to say a lot of what I say on the server is going to be on here. I will once again hold the title of god on this post.

You being there is funny already

I just wish someone still had the logs for that really long explanation of using the toilet.

Oh I can do that later.

Alyssa: Hey Arglack?
Arglack: Aly?
Alyssa: Wanna see my impression of you?
Arglack: Sure
Alyssa: rawr

*Alyssa, Arglack and Luma discussing krogan-human sex*
Alyssa: Id imagine it'd kill her
Arglack: Probably.
Luma: What
Alyssa: Y'know...he'd pull out, and all her organs would just...schlub out...kinda like a bee, really.
*Luma vomits*

Uhm,.... uhg...... Why did I read that?

Nick: Oh you wanna hear what I do for a living?! I'm in the USMC, the United States McDonald's Corporation! Semper Fries, motherfucker! Proud to be of service! May I take your order?!

Variant 1: You're gonna fuck with me?! I serve in the McDonald's Corps, and I'll have you know that I will FUCK YOU UP! SEMPER FRIES MOTHER FUCKER!

[LOOC] Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra: is this a salarian that isn't rose
[LOOC] Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra: get the fuck out
[LOOC] Lah'Kash: It's Fury and fuck you
[LOOC] Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra: oh sorry

**There it was. Liquid. Sweet, sweet nectar, the Alpines in a glass now dribbling gently into the Specialist's mouth.
LCDR. Nicholas Hart whispers "Permission to swallow..."

[OOC]

Dr. Alicia Liddel radios in "Uh... Captain?"
CAPT. Nicholas Hart radios in "Doc?"
Dr. Alicia Liddel radios in "Zar says he has a blanket in your room."
Dr. Alicia Liddel radios in "It's, and I quote... 'The pink one'."
Spc. Elliott Foster radios in "Hot."
CAPT. Nicholas Hart radios in "I'll uh... send it down with Luther."

*CAPT. Nicholas Hart said tossed him a chew toy.
CAPT. Nicholas Hart says "Stay."
2Lt. Kreg 'Tex' Luther says "... What."
'Handsoap' says "...."
2Lt. Kreg 'Tex' Luther says "Nevermind.. not questioning it."
'Handsoap' says "Are you fucking serious."

Dr. Alicia Liddel says "After licking the... Purple poopstack."

Generally anything Nick says in the Teamspeak
Pundiis Trashman spam

Just....this.

that's zar's brain

[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: *gets his dick on his face because he's sittin'
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Wtf Alex.
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: nothing
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: I swere m8
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: saw nothing
[LOOC] 2Lt. Kreg 'Tex' Luther: /me rubs dick across forehead. "Simbaaa"
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: LMAO
[LOOC] 2Lt. Kreg 'Tex' Luther: HAHAHAHA
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: I DED

"I'm the trashman"

Gale Fess says "So I can say to my grand children that I almost got injured in the military?"

CDR. Isaiah Nicola says "Yep. You could say that."

Gale Fess says "Nice."

CDR. Isaiah Nicola says "Yes, grandson -- I almost got a purple heart for falling victim to gravity. Great story."

Gale Fess says "Absolutely."

Gale Fess says "See sonny, I was one more blunt object to the skull away from a purple heart."

CDR. Isaiah Nicola says "Something like that."

Gale Fess says "Man. It'd be cool to be old."

Gale Fess says "Besides, you know, the looming threat of a heart attack, aneurysm, stroke, alzheimer's...."

Gale Fess says "Uh, nevermind. It wouldn't be cool to be old."

CDR. Isaiah Nicola says "Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're ninety, a hundred -- By then, you'll be lucky to be able to walk, see, hear -- Hell, even wiping your own ass will be an achievement."

[OOC] Filtershakes: I suggest you stick to the schedule you had announced and not blow your event load early and ruin the mood. i know you've got an issue with Eventile disfunction but it's nothing to encourage.

Spc. Reylds Cane says "...you tried bench-pressing a human?"
Herimius 'Back Breaker' Treninianus says "..Nooo~"
Spc. Reylds Cane says "How'd it go?"
Herimius 'Back Breaker' Treninianus says "Eh... Well, I'm called Back Breaker for a reason so... Heh."

**PFC. Alexander Thompson points his weapon against his forehead, pulling the trigger.

**Spc. Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra suddenly stops speaking as a bullet courses through his brain, coming out the front of his mask. After three or so seconds of standing in shock, he falls to the floor, spattered in blood, clearly dead.

Finally someone did it

[OOC] KOSP: **CAPT. Nicholas Hart extended his hand out to slap against the Sergeant's own and drag him in for a nigger-hug.
[OOC] slime: das racis
[OOC] [uoᴉƃǝ˥] Feels good man: "I bet you wont suck my dick faggot."
[OOC] Kardan: nicholas is kk confirmd
[OOC] Nick: kk konfirmed

LT. Gunter Shultz radios in "// Celia has a dick BURH, SHE AIN'T A TRAP SHE'S A GODDAMN AMBUSH."
Pvt. Naomi Merigold radios in "// Wtf."
PFC. Alexander Thompson radios in "// totally going for her"
Spc. Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra radios in "// why"
Pvt. Kalin Kassel radios in "// I didnt know we had Kaitlyn jenner on the ship. Buckle up buckaroos"
Pvt. Naomi Merigold radios in "// Ay, no trans jokes please."
Spc. Reylds Cane radios in "// I hate all of you.  XD"
Sgt. Raik Arglack radios in "// stop with the radio"

This is even before she gets on the ship. XD

Urdnot Virak says "Hey uh, Could you care to Educate me on Something?"
Dr. Alicia Liddel says "Uh, sure."
Urdnot Virak says "What Is a ''Hitler Stache''?"
**Dr. Alicia Liddel rubs the bridge of her nose.
Dr. Alicia Liddel says "Shultz?"

[LOG] LT. Gunter Shultz said [ME] "taps on the console as he swiftly and litereally releases /ALL/ of the garbage shoot and junk into the straight face of the Garbageman"

**Pvt. Naomi Merigold is currently sitting next to Kreg, stroking their hand.
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: you spelled penis wrong.
[LOOC] 2Lt. Kreg 'Tex' Luther: HJAHAHAHAHA
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Shut up faglord.

___________________________________________________________________

[LOOC] Spc. Memi'Maanar nar Xaeraka: dont bitch slap me
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: a gentle push on yar face then <3
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: Stop flirting when I'm playing doctor. Now bend over Alex.

[TJR] Hank Handsome: Luma's different to that lol.
[TJR] Hank Handsome: She's technically an assassin.
Nick: kill yourself thanks

Satan™: Iunno, you ready for my event
☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: I hope so
Satan™: Aka I injury a shit ton of peoopel and make you deal with it
☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: Cuz all you niggas gonna get shot and I'm the only combat medic I believe.
☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: FUCK YOU

] pac_wear_parts
[OOC] Kept you waiting, huh?: arglack just repaced
[OOC] Xenoxia: Explosion.
[OOC] [VBG] HereticsEnd: Arglack just rejoined

**Everyone is silently praying, "Not me not me not me not me..."
**Sgt. Raik Arglack looks at Cane
**Fak.
Pip Lebeau says "What."
[LOOC] Urdnot Virak: MY SIDES

TheMightyDRGN: Sort of in a van on the British motorway. Hence I can't
Nick: fuck
Nick: you got kidnapped????

(In steam chat after Xeria shot Katri OOCly and server crashes)

Xeria'Veeros vas Illium: I shot a bitch so hard, the server crashed.
KOSP: Xeria's Bitch Slap knows no bounds.
KOSP: Dear god it's not gonna come up for a while is it?
Xeria'Veeros vas Illium: I don't think so...
Xeria'Veeros vas Illium: https://i.imgur.com/m2Xi1Yf.jpg

Sgt. Raik Arglack says "I thought ribs didnt grow back."
CDR. Isaiah Nicola says "They don't."
[LOOC] Sgt. Raik Arglack: i love references
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : Arglack.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : You fuck
[LOOC] CDR. Isaiah Nicola: i don't get it
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN
[LOOC] PFC. Alexander Thompson: i will punch him
[LOOC] CDR. Isaiah Nicola: what's the reference even

[OOC] Dr. Alicia Tiddel: take me out for dinner before you fuck me that bad next time okay
[OOC] LT. Luke Teth: :^)

Dr. Martin O'Donnell yells "I WANNA GO TO DIDNY WORL!"
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: void
[LOOC] Cpl. Lah'Kash: god damn it

_______________________________________________________

**Dr. Martin O'Donnell goes super spaz lesbian and begins to shake again as he screams.

_______________________________________________________

The Group proceeds into the darkness---You swear you can feel somthing watching you.
[OOC] ☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: I feel like someone... WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING!
The Husks hide, they've been found out by O'Donnell!
[OOC] Megabnark: "I told you he was on to us!"

_______________________________________________________

Around the Corner sflies a Husk corpse--followed by a loud yell in a robotic scream "DEATH TO ALL NON-HUMANS!" A Large LOKI Mech, followed by another one is seen.
My Bad, YMIR Mechs.
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: The machines have risen against us.

_______________________________________________________

As The Salarian rushes a rocket flies down the hallway behind him, impacting as another YMIR comes.
[OOC] ☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: RIP The Salarian.

_______________________________________________________

[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: I love how we have enough supplies to build a camp fire but we didn't bring Marshmallows

_______________________________________________________

CAPT. Nicholas Hart radios in "On the double, team!"
[OOC] ☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: Double team lol

_______________________________________________________

The Sound of whirring can be heard as a few Cerberus Troopers deploy the drones.
[OOC] ☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: THE HACKS
[OOC] Kept you waiting, huh?: HAAAAAAAAAAAX

_______________________________________________________

[OOC] Pianotugboat[Mapfixed]: satans grabbing a pizza hang tight boys
[OOC] virtualFear!: what a nerd
[OOC] Gentleman Jay: God damnit
[OOC] Pundii Reynolds: Fatass
[OOC] Kept you waiting, huh?: i want pizza
[OOC] Advent MEC: tactical pizza
[OOC] ☭ The Soviet Pikachu ☭: Ask him why he nicknamed his dick Pizza
[OOC] [TJR] Brendin: At that moment, all the containers open up, sending hundreds of husks towards the group.. OH NOOOS. jk jk
[OOC] Megabnark: the pizza is aggressive

_______________________________________________________

`To Save time, and a shitton of walking---Everyone slowly regroups with the wounded stabilizing them for the return to the SSV London
Legends say the Tram had been controlled by none other then the Trashman. Now known as... The Tramman.

Sabine Baehr says "Egh.."
Spc. Reylds Cane says "Hello."
Sabine Baehr says "Hey.. Salarian."
**Teeny tiny human.
**That teeny tiny human will still make you a sushi roll.

[OOC] Pundii Reynolds: China is set to become #1 in GDP by 2020, followed by India #2 and the USA #3 - there, discuss as opposed to music.
[OOC] Quads: Bullshit it will, China will collapse under its own weight of attempting to provide jobs for its citizens and hold its fragile economoy together. Fucking indians shit in the streets, worship cows and toliets, are generally fuck their cousins. If emperor trump is elected he will return the US to its former glory, but if Hilliary gets elected prepare to be castrated and cucked.
[OOC] Nick: If we're going to talk about domination of power, look at the Kung-Tang Chino clan located out in China, or the Woo-Tang clan that ain't "nutin' to fuk wit." These are the leaders of our future. And the fact that you fucking forgot about the single most important: The Christopher Walken (I'm Walken Here!) Association, lending jobs and helping cross-walkers worldwide recover.

CAPT. Nicholas Hart radios in "pm Liddel *presses my lips against ur tit-tay, sucklin the mercy milk from it to get stronk"
[OOC] Megabnark: OMG
Pvt. Naomi Merigold radios in "// HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA"
PFC. Alexander Thompson radios in "// WHAT"
Pvt. Kalin Kassel radios in "// WAT"
[OOC] |MVS| Raik Arglack: ok

Sgt. Druss Jorkakt says "*hssk* Was gonna have a wank but I can't feel anything in my crotch."
Spc. Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra says ". . ."

[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Lol druss went PLOP onto the floor.
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: Druss is floating. WITCH CRAFT
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : SPACE MAGIC
[LOOC] Sgt. Druss Jorkakt:  A WITCH, A WIIIITCH
[LOOC] Spc. Reylds Cane: brb dying of laughter
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : SOMEONE GET THIS DARN HEAD HUMPER OFF ME
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Seeing a giant round ball fucking PLOP onto the floor like that.
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Omg lol
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: "This is what I do I sit on you! Sit on you! Sit on you!"
[LOOC] Cpl. William Karl Brayton: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : Oh god
[LOOC] Sgt. Druss Jorkakt: RIDES!
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Omg that's fucking hilarious.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : All I can see is the inside of Druss
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : This isn't right
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : THIS ISNT RIGHT
[LOOC] Pvt. Pip Lebeau: RIGHT ON YOUR FACE, BUM. THIS WHAT I DO, THIS IS WHAT I DO, THIS IS WHAT I DO I SIT ON YOU
[LOOC] Pvt. Naomi Merigold: Can I see the inside of druss?
[LOOC] Spc. Reylds Cane: It IS full of candy.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : HELP HEADHUMPPER
**Pvt. Laila Gulbrandsen walks over and fetches an icepack out of the mystical minifridge, and she holds it out to Naomi.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : THIS ISNT THE CANDY I WANT
[LOOC] Spc. Reylds Cane: Eww, saltwater taffy...
[LOOC] Pvt. Laila Gulbrandsen: mini frdige
[LOOC] Pvt. Laila Gulbrandsen: next installment
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: xD
[OOC] [uoᴉƃǝ˥] Feels good man: You're an asshole then.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : SHE IS LIKE A FUCKING HEADCRAB
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : AGGGGGHG
[LOOC] Spc. Reylds Cane: You can see the bottom of her boot now.
[LOOC] Spc. Reylds Cane: Look.
[LOOC] Dr. Martin O'Donnell: Looks like she's riding your shoulders.
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : Oh God. I see where my head is, I am litereally shoved up her arse
[LOOC] Spc. Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra: piggyback
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : In my all days of gmod gaming
[LOOC] Herimuis 'Back Breaker' Treninianus : I never thought I would say those words.
[LOOC] Sgt. Druss Jorkakt: the horror

Sgt. Artacus Kalmavius says "Now Pegleg.. how about you tell me what you were thinking when you decided to jump in where the artifact was. Hm?"

Pvt. Pip Lebeau says "Oooh well I thought the artifact looked something like your mother and I wanted to rekindle an old flame."

[OOC] [TJR] Brendin: in the butthole Alex, in the Butthole.

The whole Krogan Duet TAAAKEEE MEEEEEE ONNNNNN


SCRATCH THAT, HANDSOAP SINGING THAT SONG WAS EVENBETTER